


Man's Best Friend

by crazyTXgradstudent



Category: Gerard Butler - Fandom
Genre: Abortion, Dogs, F/M, Friendship/Love, Gerard Butler - Freeform, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-26 21:56:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6257404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyTXgradstudent/pseuds/crazyTXgradstudent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because pugs! And there's not enough Gerard Butler fics for my liking ;-)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a pug. It had to be a pug, as fat as it was, along with the tan body and black face and curly tail. 

Instead of walking to her car and leaving her job at Trader Joe’s, CJ found herself scanning the street for traffic; there was no way she could drive home and not worry about this little dog being hurt or even killed in this crazy California traffic!  As she moved closer, she could see that the dog did have a collar on, but was oblivious to the dangers around it as it darted in and out of traffic. More than once, CJ held her breath as the little dog narrowly missed getting squashed by an oncoming car. She hurried over to the far sidewalk, praying all the while that she could get the dog before a car did.  The road running beside her job was incredibly busy, and certainly no place for a small dog to be running loose.

“Come here, puppy!” she called, clicking her fingertips and whistling softly. Much to her surprise, the dog immediately turned and ran towards her, and CJ leaned down and scooped the dog up into her arms.

“You crazy little dog!” CJ giggled as she held the chubby dog firmly in her arms. The dog wiggled and frantically licked CJ’s face, seemingly happy to be off the hot concrete and in a human’s arms, even if it wasn't her owners.

“Let’s see…” CJ tuned the collar around until she found the tags. “Lolita, is it?” The dog started wagging her curly tail, and wiggling her squishy body all the more furiously as CJ called out her name.

“That’s a funny name for a pug,” CJ mused as she carried little miss Lolita safely back across the street and to her car. Remembering where she was, CJ smirked and shook her head to her herself.

Coming from southern Louisiana, CJ had quickly figured out that Californians were a special kind of people, and Lolita was actually a normal name, all things considered!

Once she got back to her car, she looked around, hesitating on what to do now.  Should she take the dog home? There was no phone number on the tag, only the dog’s name.  It was after 6pm, so it was getting dark, and this was no place that CJ wanted to be by herself.  But still...what if the owner was out right now looking for their dog?  Wouldn't it be considered stealing if she took the dog home without trying to find the owner?  But...it was getting dark, and she needed to get home to her husband.  Maybe she could just keep the dog overnight, and try to find the owner tomorrow? What would one night matter?

Decision made, she opened the door to her car and climbed in, releasing Lolita to the back. The little pug turned around a few times, and then plopped down unceremoniously in the back seat as if she owned it.  CJ giggled again as she turned the car on and buckled.

Robbie was gonna love this….


	2. Chapter 2

“I don’t know why you brought that damn dog home!”

CJ rolled her eyes as she made her way into the back bedroom of their small apartment. She was trying to escape her husband, to ignore his chastising of her, but it was hard to do in 900 square feet of living space; there was just no damn where to go! She looked towards the window, wondering if he would follow her should she jump out? The idea seemed more and more appealing each day of their miserable marriage…

“Are you even listening to me, Casey?” Robbie roared from the bedroom doorway. He’d followed her down the hall.

“Yes, Robert!” CJ barked back. She knew he was furious, as he never called her by her first name any other time. She frowned, as it dawned on her that he had been calling her Casey for months now. Months. When had they become such enemies?

“And so? Are you taking it back to wherever you found it?”

“ _Lolita,_ Robbie. Her name is Lolita, and yes, I’ll take her back tomorrow. I have the day off, so I can try to find her owners then,” CJ lowered her voice, trying to appease her none-to-happy husband.  

Robbie stormed off, slamming the bedroom door behind him.  

CJ sighed after him, but made no effort to follow; he was always leaving. 

W _hat was new, really?_

* * *

 

The next day came and went, but there was no sign of Lolita’s owner.  

It was CJ’s day off, and she had plenty of time to walk up and down the area around Trader Joe’s, and over the entire Ocean View Plaza shopping center, looking for the owner of the little pug. By the time late afternoon rolled around, and no one was found to claim the dog, CJ was ashamed to admit that she was more than just a little happy. She’d had a great time walking around with Lolita, having lunch and stopping in at little stores. It was probably one of the better days she’d had in a long time, and all because of the company of a little lost dog.  As she made her way back to her car and climbed in, she gently set Lolita down in the passenger seat and began to formulate a plan on how to break it to her husband that the dog was staying a little longer….

* * *

 

“Take the damn dog to the pound!” Robbie roared angrily. CJ flinched, but held her ground as she clutched the little dog to her chest. She did her best to hide her growing fear, as Robbie was getting more and more agitated by the very minute.

“I’ll try tomorrow after work,” CJ offered timidly. This only earned a glare from her husband.

“Take it over there now.”

CJ lifted her chin, an imperceptible show of defiance.  There was no way in hell she was taking Lolita to the pound. No way. 

“I’ll take her tomorrow,” she repeated quietly, but she could feel the quiver in her voice as she defied her husband. Robbie stared back at her, his jaw clenched in anger, and fists balled at his sides. The tension stretched between them, some nameless intruder that had infiltrated their once seemingly-happy marriage and drove a wedge between them. Finally Robbie blinked, breaking the heated silence in the room.

“Fine. Stay here with the dog.” He stormed out of the room yet again, and CJ followed, wondering what would happen next. She wasn't quick enough to catch him, but she did hear the door slam behind him.

He was gone again, and she had no idea where he went off to;  same as before, same as always. 

It had been happening more and more frequently; Robbie would leave early in the morning, and come home late at night.  Or sometimes he wouldn’t come home at all. There was never an explanation, and CJ was constantly left wondering not only where her husband was, but more pressing, _who he was with_.  She was about a hundred percent certain he was cheating on her. They’d only been married for a little over 3 years, and it had been hell from the get-go.  Looking back, she realized that she was deluding herself into thinking they had ever _really_ been happy.  They were never together, for fucks sake!

CJ had met Robbie in Houston, at a football game between her university and a Texas school, and that was it for them... _well, for her at least._  Less than a month later, she’d dropped out of college, gotten married at the Justice of the Peace, and followed Robbie as he moved to Camp Pendleton, CA, on a military assignment.  Her parents had tried to warn her, to tell her that she was jumping in much too fast,  and was way over her head, but CJ was dead-set on doing what she wanted. For her, Robbie was the love of her life, and for a few months it had been almost perfect.

Then the bottom fell out.  

Robbie was a captain in the Marines, and his unit had deployed to Afghanistan.  He had been acting strange before he left, but once he was there - once he was in-country - CJ had noticed the change almost immediately.  He had become withdrawn, and had started taking his anger out on CJ at any time he got the chance.  She couldn’t send the right stuff to him, she couldn’t say the right words; _hell she couldn’t wear the right clothes when he came home!_ Nothing was good enough for him, and their marriage had never been the same, had never gone back to the way it was in those first few months. There were rumors amongst the local wives that Robbie had been having an affair downrange, but CJ refused to acknowledge that. That was just something she couldn't fathom, a path she could not go down.  To find that out would destroy her, and would make everything she’d ever done for Robbie and their marriage all for naught.


	3. Chapter 3

A few weeks later, CJ found herself at the dog park on Carlsbad Village Drive. It had become her routine to take Lolita to the park every day after work…and any other time she could find; anything to get her out of the house that she and her husband occupied.

She'd painfully come to terms that things with Robbie had always been bad, seemingly since the day they had married, and the addition of the dog had only exacerbated everything. She couldn’t breathe without Robbie barking at her, or insulting her, or just being plain mean.  Lolita had fast become her only friend in this foreign land, and she clung to the little dog as if she were a lifeline. Lolita was the warm body at night in the cold guest room, the wet nose that offered comfort when Robbie was working late, and the snorting, tongue-wagging happiness that greeted her every day after work.  

As CJ made her way in through the gated entrance to the dog area, she locked it behind her before setting Lolita down on the ground. As fast as her little legs could carry her, the pug made her way over to the other dogs while CJ made her way over to an empty picnic bench by the far side of the fence. After watching Lolita for a few moments, she leaned her head back, took off her sunglasses, and tilted her head back, doing her best to absorb the late afternoon sun.  It was fairly empty, save for a few owners spread sporadically throughout the small park, and so CJ started to relax as the sun warmed her skin.

Her respite was short-lived.  

It was the commotion that dragged her back into reality, the sound of dog’s barking and people speaking loudly. As she opened her eyes and dragged her sunglasses back down, her mouth fell open in horror when she saw a man lean down and pick up Lolita, and start walking away.  He was heading towards the parking lot, and she watched as he set Lolita down.  The traitorous dog loped along beside him, happy as could be!

 

As fast as she could, she gathered up her things and ran over to where the small crowd had gathered.  They were following along behind the man, for whatever reason. 

“Excuse me!” CJ spoke loudly as she pushed her way into the front of the crowd. Different sets of eyes landed on her as she strode into the group and stood before the man that had her dog, halting him in his tracks.

“That’s my dog you're stealing! Give her back!” CJ ordered as she pointed down at Lolita.  The man didn't say anything at first, only tilted his head to the side and stepped back from CJ.  When he did finally speak, his voice was barely above a low growl.

“No, I don’t think so, lady! This is my dog, and she’s been lost for a few weeks.” The man scowled down at CJ as he continued, “Or stolen, I can’t figure out which.”

CJ gasped indignantly, and leaned down, trying to grab hold of the dog.  All the while in the back of her head, the facts that Lolita _was_ a "lost dog" at one time, and that this _could_ be her owner, swirled through her head.  Her uncertainty threatened to overtake her, but she valiantly pushed those thoughts aside even as her lower lip started to tremble.

 “Please give me back my dog, mister,” she whispered brokenly, even though she knew it was no use.  Without acknowledging her, the man shook his head, muttered something unintelligible under his breath, and walked away.  Lolita trotted along beside him still.  

Not even caring that she was still being watched, CJ ran after the man and frantically grabbed onto his arm to halt him.  He sighed audibly, clearly aggravated with her hanging on him. 

“Please! You can’t take her from me!” CJ pleaded as she looked from his shaded eyes to the dog resting at his feet.   Her heart was breaking into a million little pieces. The man angrily pulled off his sunglasses and glared down at her.

CJ was a bit taken aback at the intensity of his eyes, and she rocked back on her heels as she released his arm.

 Were they grey?  Green? _Blueish-grey?_

Whatever they were, they were vivid against his tanned skin, and flashing in his anger.  For a brief moment, CJ thought they were somehow familiar, that he was somehow familiar, but her eyes might have been a little blurry from her tears, so she gave it no further thought at the moment…

The man was speaking again, and she wasn’t wrong; he was clearly angry with her.  Very, very angry with her.

“Look, ma'am, I don’t know who you are, or how you found my dog, but this is my dog.  She got out of my car while I was shopping at the grocery store. I’ve been looking for her for weeks!”

“At Trader Joe’s?” CJ whispered.  She crossed her arms over her chest, protecting herself - _her heart_ \- from what was to come with his answer. 

“Yes, at Trader Joes!” The man was growing more and more impatient; CJ could feel the anger and frustration emanating off him, and she instinctively backed away even further. He towered over her, and intimidating was an understatement. She nervously twisted her hands into the sides of her hoodie, her brain scrambling to find something that would halt this man from taking her dog.

“What’s her name?” CJ asked breathlessly.  She watched with wide eyes as the man pulled out his cellphone, and quickly shoved it in her face.  It was a picture of Lolita, the collar and all, on his phone.

“Lolita,” the tall man growled from between clenched teeth. 

CJ’s stomach dropped as she silently stared at the picture.

It was his dog; there was no mistaking that collar, and that small black dot that Lolita had on the right side of her muzzle was a dead giveaway.

_It was his dog._

CJ wiped her nose, but was unable to prevent the sniffle that escaped as she looked up at the man in defeat. He’d put his sunglasses back on, and so she couldn’t see his eyes any longer, but that scowl was still in place.  She had to let him and Lolita go.  If she had any shred of dignity left, she'd let them go without her dissolving into a puddle of tears at his feet...

“Do you mind if I say goodbye?” CJ asked hopefully.  A few moments passed, but to her relief, the man relented.  He leaned down and picked up his dog, and held her out for CJ to take. CJ gratefully did so, and pulled the pug into her chest for one last snuggle.  Lolita licked at her cheeks, her rough tongue lapping up the tears that were quietly rolling down her interim owner's face.

“Thank you, Lolita,” CJ whispered as she nuzzled the dog. “I”m sure gonna miss you.”

From his spot, Gerard watched the woman say goodbye to his dog.  Now that the initial shock was over, he found his anger was diminishing, becoming quickly replaced with bewilderment...and maybe a little pity, if he were to be honest. The young lady in front of him was hugging Lolita as if she were the last living creature in the world, and for just a moment, he felt guilty for taking Lolita.  

He actually felt guilty for taking his own damn dog home!

_What the hell kinda shit was that?_

He looked down at her more closely.  The woman couldn’t be more than her early 20s, if that.  She had her thick, brown hair up in a messy pony tail that indicated youth.  But in contrast, she had all the curves that bespoke of a woman’s body, yet she was not overweight; maybe by today’s standards, but she looked perfectly fine to him.  Her ample hips were clothed in a pair of ratty jeans, with holes at the knees, and the bottoms were ragged where they met her flip-flops.  She had on a thin, zip-up hoodie, and he could see that she was also well-endowed in the breast area. While she might be shorter than he usually liked, there was nothing about her body that was off-putting to say the least. He shifted uncomfortably, his body reacting of it’s own volition, and he mentally chastised himself.

This woman had stolen his dog, and here he was, getting a hard-on just looking at her!  

He cleared his throat, knowing he needed to cut this meeting short.

“Uhm, excuse me, miss?” He tilted his head to get a better look at her.  She was definitely crying, and he was definitely feeling uncomfortable.

“Miss?” he tried again, a bit louder and more forceful this time.

“Uh, yeah, sorry,” the woman sniffled again as she pushed Lolita back into his arms.  She wouldn’t meet his eyes, and continued staring at her feet as she mumbled under breath.

“I’m sorry. I found her that night after work. I work at Trader Joe’s, and I waited around, and didn’t see anyone. I even went back the next day. I wasn’t trying to steal her.” The last words were barely above a whisper, and Gerard grimaced at the heartbreak in her small voice. 

“Hey, look, it’s okay, yeah? No big deal,” Gerard placed a hand on her shoulder, and felt her trembling.  He immediately removed his hand and wrapped it around his dog instead. He wanted to offer her some comfort, but he couldn’t deny he felt something when he touched her, even to just place a hand on her shoulder. He didn't need to be touching this girl, that was for damn sure. He looked up, aggravated again when he realized the small group of onlookers were inching closer.

Great.   _Just what he did not want to deal with today..._

“Look, ma'am, I need to get outta here, okay?” Gerard shifted his dog in his arms as he waited for the woman to reply.

Composed somewhat, the girl looked up at him, but just as quickly looked away.  It was like she had flipped a switch. 

“Sure thing. I’m glad you got your dog back.  She’s a good dog.”

Before Gerard could say another word to her, the girl turned on her heel and scurried away, doing everything but running.  He watched her go, but was eventually surrounded by the small crowd as they realized who he was and began asking for autographs.

_Just fucking great,_ he thought to himself as he grabbed the first cell phone shoved in his face. 


	4. Chapter 4

1 week later….

It was nearing 8pm, and CJ was at thankfully at the end of her shift. As she pulled her apron off and hung it on the hook, she felt her depression threaten to take over. Things were worse than ever with Robbie, and he'd all but moved out. After Lolita had found her owner, CJ had assumed that she and Robbie could start working on whatever it was that was going on between them, but they seemed farther and farther apart. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think her husband was having an affair…

Fifteen minutes later, CJ had her head down as she made her way to her car, and in doing so missed the man standing off to the side of the building, just barely hidden out of sight. As she clicked the button on her key fob and opened her door,  she just happened to look over the top of her car.  She was stunned at what she saw. 

Less than 10 feet away - and moving quickly towards her - was the man from the park.  

 

 

 

Lolita was running along side him, her tongue hanging out in it's usual fashion as her little legs churned to keep up with the tall man's strides. 

CJ was caught between full-blown panic - _what could he want with her??_ \- and overwhelming happiness at seeing the little dog again. 

As they drew closer, the man started grinning, and CJ's hear started beating out of her chest with anxiety.  

Her anxiety was short-lived though, as as soon as she could, the little pug climbed up in her car and made herself right at home in the passenger seat. The dog’s tongue lolled out of her mouth as she expectantly looked up at CJ.  Even more surprising, Lolita’s owner was standing a few feet away, smiling with his hands in his pocket.   _Maybe he wasn't coming to serve her with some kind of legal stuff??_ She turned to look at him a bit more closely.

She had to blink a few times when she realized just how handsome the man was, and she wondered how in the world she had missed it the first time around?!  He was so familiar, and she couldn’t put her finger on it, but she’d swear up and down she’d seen this man before the dog park. His grin was lopsided as he stepped forward, but his face was still shadowed a bit under his ball cap. 

“Look, I’m sorry…I just…remember we met at the dog park…and I know how much you liked Lo', so I wanted to come by and say thanks for taking care of her.” The man pulled one hand from his pocket and rubbed the back of his neck, almost nervously.  CJ stood there, gawking up at him, completely stunned into silence.

“So…” the man began again, his grin fading as he stared down at CJ and waited for her response.  Finally realizing how slow on the uptake she was this evening, CJ cleared her own throat and responded, albeit a bit breathlessly.  If she just didn't look at his eyes, or his mouth, or his scruffy jaw, or the way that blue shirt fit him so snugly around his chest, she might just be able to concentrate.   _Concentrate, dammit!_ she mentally screamed at herself. 

“Yes! About that! I’m sorry I was such a mess that day,” CJ began explaining, only to be shushed by the man as he placed a playful finger against her lips. CJ immediately straightened, shocked by his move, and she’d swear her lips were tingling where he touched her!

 “Don’t apologize. I believe you. Like I said, I just wanted to come by and say thanks for keeping her safe.” He removed his finger and grinned down at her, his white teeth flashing in the approaching dusk.

“Okay!” CJ blushed profusely when she realized how high-pitched her voice was, and she quickly dropped her gaze back to his feet. There was a tiny little crack in the concrete by the edge of his boot, and she thought to herself how great it would be to slide in that crack and disappear altogether, and not have to-

“So…I’m Gerard. Well, Gerry if you’d like.” CJ looked back up at him, and this time he winked in encouragement.

She felt that wink sock her right in the stomach, and she hastily looked back down at his feet as she tried to calm her racing pulse. Her cheeks were on fire with embarrassment.

_Gerard? Gerry?_

He had some kind of accent, but she couldn't place that either.  There was a slight lilt to the way he spoke, like maybe he was Irish, or Scottish, or something.  Goddamnit but it was driving her insane!

She knew him from somewhere - _she’d bet her meager paycheck on it!_ \- but how in the hell was she gonna ask him if she couldn’t even meet his eyes? Every damn time he looked at her she thought she was going to combust with embarrassment!

“And your name is?” Gerry’s voice was gentle, and CJ felt the tiniest bit of courage come up and allow her to look back up at him. He was still smiling, his blue-grey eyes twinkling with merriment.

“Casey. Or CJ. Everyone calls me CJ, but it’s fine either way.” Why was her voice so breathless?  God almighty she was making a fool of herself!

“Well, Casey or CJ, thanks for finding my Lola,” Gerry crossed his arms over his chest and looked down into CJ’s car. “She sure does like you a lot!”

CJ looked into her front seat to see that Lolita had laid out on her side, fast asleep, and she couldn't help but giggle a little.

“So she laughs, huh?” Gerry teased, drawing CJ’s wide eyes back up to his.  He was so damn handsome, she could hardly stand it. The teasing was just too damn much!

“I’m sorry, do I know you from somewhere?” CJ blurted out, and immediately regretted it when Gerry’s smile faltered.  He again rubbed that hand across the back of his neck, almost uncomfortably.

 

“Well, it depends…” Gerry hedged as he looked out over the top of CJ’s head. “Do you watch a lotta tv, then?” His smile was gone, replaced by some sort of cross between a scowl and a crooked smirk.  

The lightbulb clicked, and CJ just barely clapped her hands over her mouth before she squealed like a moron. She knew exactly who this man was!

**_PS I Love You_** was the first movie that came to mind, followed by **_Law Abiding Citizen_** , then ** _300_** , and so on. How had she not realized who he was right off the rip?  This was Gerard Butler -  _King Leonidas himself! -_ and he was standing right damn in front of her!

Gerry knew immediately that the woman now knew who he was, and he sighed and resignedly crossed his arms over his chest again. This was usually where things went south…

“Yeah, that’s me.” He said it with an almost palpable distaste, and CJ’s brows drew together in confusion.

“Why do you say it like that?” She asked, her head tilted as curiosity got the better of her.

“Because it creates problems. I thought you might be that one person that wasn’t gonna recognize me.”

“Oh,” CJ replied, although she still didn't quite understand his displeasure with her knowing who he was.

“Well, I guess I’ll get my dog then,” Gerry muttered as he walked around to CJ’s passenger side. “Is the door unlocked?” He jiggled the handled without waiting for her answer.

“Uhm…yeah, it’s open,” CJ belatedly replied. She was scrambling for ideas, trying to figure out something to do to convince him that she wasn’t one of _those_ kinds of fans that would fawn all over him, but how to convince him of that was beyond her. There had to be something she could say that would ease his mind, 'cause lord knows she didn’t want to go home to an empty house! Besides, if there was any chance in hell she could hang out with Lolita, she was gonna jump on it.

“Well, just so you know, William was my favorite!” CJ blurted out recklessly, desperately. Gerry’s head popped up from the other side of the car, and he stared over the roof at her in bemusement.

“What?” His frown was fading, quickly becoming replaced with a lopsided grin.

“In your movie. I was glad when William showed up and I actually liked him more than Gerry. Than you,” CJ blushed again as she realized what she said. “Fuck! I don’t mean it like that!” She closed her eyes, and prayed that Gerry - _Gerard_ \- would just take his dog and leave. She’d made such an ass of herself!  

Her eyes were still closed, and she was shaking her head at herself, when she heard what sounded like laughter. When she opened her eyes and looked over the top of the car, she was relieved to see that Gerry was indeed laughing, even though his amusement at her expense was somewhat annoying. He had a hand over his mouth and was struggling to control his mirth. CJ narrowed her eyes up at him.

“I’m glad you find that so funny,” she grumbled as she adjusted her hoodie.

“Look, I’m sorry, I’ve just never had anyone say that to me!” Gerry chuckled as he walked around her car and stood before her again. He had Lolita safely nestled agains this chest, and the content dog looked back at CJ, her eyes fluttering sleepily.

“Well, like I said, glad I could humor you and all,” CJ muttered again.

“Hey, look, I am sorry. I’m not trying to be a dick, you just have no idea how good that feels to hear that,” Gerry gently apologized. CJ glanced up at him, and he again had that easy smile on his face. She felt her annoyance diminish just a bit…

“i know who you are, I just don’t want you to think that I’m gonna jump you or something,” CJ grumbled.

“You’re too short to jump me; wasn’t worried about that,” Gerry countered. When CJ looked up at him, he winked at her again, and she couldn’t control the giggle that escaped at his easy teasing.

“Now it makes complete sense why I loved William and not Gerry,” CJ saucily shot back. Gerry dramatically placed a hand over his heart as if she’d wounded him.

“Look, now that cuts me deep, okay?” He frowned and batted his eyelashes at her, and CJ had to do everything in her power to not fall down at his feet. He was devastatingly handsome, but even more so when he was trying to get his way. Damn.

“So, look, now that we’ve got all that bullshit out of the way, would you like to go get coffee or something? I mean, I feel safe now that I know you’ve got a thing for Jeffery!” Gerry clapped a hand over his mouth as he started laughing again, and even CJ couldn’t hold back her giggle at his remark.

“You are an ass, you know that?” She grinned as she crossed her arms over her chest and stared back up at him. He was hard to resist, that was for damn sure.

“I do my best,” Gerry solemnly agreed, although CJ could see the humor lurking in his beautiful eyes. He stepped forward, and scratched Lolita under her chubby chin. “So what do you say? Coffee maybe? Dinner if you’d like?” Now, all traces of humor were gone, only to be replaced by an even more beautifully intoxicating smile that tore down any resolve she might have had. She nodded her head in agreement before she even thought about it.

 

* * *

 

She would come to remember this as the exact moment that everything went to shit in her life.

With one decision - to go have coffee with a man she barely knew - she set in motion things that would completely change the course of her life.

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**3 years later…**

 

“We are absolutely not going to see that movie,” CJ grumbled as she pretended to scroll through her phone. Not on her damn life would that son-of-a-bitch get one red penny from her!

“I don’t know why you are so set against it!” Amanda whined. She turned the car into the theater parking lot, set it in park and stared over at her friend. “It’s Gerard Butler!”

CJ snorted disdainfully. “Exactly my point.”

_Fucking asshole._

“But..but it’s Gerard Butler! Mr. PS I Love You? King Leonidas?” Amanda tried again, but it fell on deaf ears.

“Look, I’m not watching anything with him in it. I just think he's a douchebag, and I can’t stand him, so I’m not paying for a damn ticket.” With finality, CJ closed her cell, shoved it in her purse, and looked over at Amanda. “We can go watch anything else. Or you can watch your moive, and I’ll watch something else. Either way, I’m not watching anything with him in it.”

Amanda shook her head, and opened her door. “You are ridiculous, Casey! You're acting like the man personally did something to you!”

CJ kept her face as void of emotion as possible, for Amanda had no idea just what kind of hell she’d been through with Gerry.

No fucking idea at all. 

That man had come into her life and set off more bombs than she’d care to remember.  As it was, she was just finally starting to get her life back together -  _to get herself back together -_ but it would be a long time coming before she was able to right all the wrongs she’d done while involved with him.  Watching a move with him in it was just something she wasn't ready for, not even remotely. There were just too many memories associated with him, and she still wasn't ready to go to that dark place where her painful past lurked. 

A few moments later, and after another round of whining/arguing, Amanda and CJ finally wound up watching some horror movie. CJ couldn’t even remember the name of it, so wrapped up in her thoughts she was.   As much as she tried to to keep the monsters at bay, they eventually always found a way to creep back up and drag her down into the abyss.

As she slouched down into her seat, and the lights dimmed low, CJ fought again to keep her mind from wandering back to him.  It was impossible - _it always was -_  and she was glad that Amanda wouldn't see the tears rolling down her cheeks as it all came crashing back down. 


	6. Chapter 6

 

_**I** **got** **you** **something**_

_The text came out of the blue, one afternoon while CJ was at work. As usual, Robbie was off on some assignment - so he said - and she was left at home, alone. Same story, different day. She and Robbie were further apart than they’d ever been, and CJ spent more time than not completely alone._

_The only saving grace - or so she thought - in all this was that she and Gerry had become friends, and they spent a great deal of time together when neither were busy. Not only did she finally have someone to hang out with, but she got to spend time with Lolita, so that made everything better. Gerry liked hanging out with CJ because she didn’t ask him about his career, and they both liked to stay out of the open, but for various reasons._

_Later that evening after work, she met Gerry at the dog park as they usually did. He was carrying a small box, and inside was something she would have never expected: a tiny, male pug._

_Just like Lolita, but completely tiny, and completely adorable!_

_At first she was shocked and in disbelief, and then she’d started bawling like a baby. When Gerry placed the tiny puppy in her arms, CJ had felt such an overwhelming urge to hug the man that she couldn’t resist…and she didn’t. She’d hugged him and he’d hugged her, and well, shit happens as they say._

_That was that slippery slope that so many talked about, and she slid right down the damn thing.  She should’ve known what a bad idea that was, befriending someone like Gerry, but how could she have known? How could she have possibly known the repercussions?_

_Later that evening, CJ found herself at Gerry’s apartment. They’d settled on naming the puppy Leo, which of course was short for Leonidas. They were eating pizza, and watching Lolita play with the new puppy, when it happened._

_Gerry had said his back was hurting earlier, supposedly due to some injury he’d gotten on his most recent movie set, so he’d taken some pills that he said would help ease the pain. CJ could tell right away when the meds kicked in; he’d gone from being reasonably happy, to being very, very happy. So happy that he’d asked CJ for a dance, right there in the middle of his living room. CJ, god bless her ignorance, had been drinking from a pitcher of margaritas that Gerry had made for her. He didn’t drink, as he’d been sober for quite a few years._

_Even though she felt the nervous butterflies in her stomach, and knew she was treading on dangerous grounds, CJ had taken Gerry up on his offer and danced with him in his living room. One thing led to another, and the next thing she remembered was waking up next to him._

_in his bed._

_She was naked, and he was naked, and they’d most definitely had sex. Not having had sex with Robbie for so long, she was quite aware of the soreness that had set in muscles that hadn’t been used in a long while. There was no doubt about what had happened the night before._

_CJ was horrified, and left before Gerry even woke up._

_He was snoring peacefully as she’d gathered her things - to include little Leo - and left his apartment without so much as a note left behind. She was scared, and furious, and worried. She was so damn worried about the consequences of what she’d done the night before; she’d not taken birth control in so long. She was always hoping that Robbie would come back to her, and that in the odd moments that they’d had sex, that maybe she’d get pregnant and that would help heal their marriage._

_From that moment on, she’d completely ignored Gerry. She didn’t text him, she changed her schedule at work so as to avoid him, and did everything in her power to not be in places where they might run into each other. It worked for almost a month, until the bottom that she thought she’d already reached actually fell out completely._

_Things were horrible with Robbie, and he didn't take the new puppy too well.  Little Leo would end up being the least of her worries, as Gerry had given her more than a puppy._

_A little over a month later she found out she was pregnant, and it was most certainly not Robbie’s child. She went back and forth for days on whether to tell Gerry, but in the end, the decision was made for her as to what she had to do in regards to her husband.  There were so many lies, so many webs to try to untangle herself from, the least of which being Gerry._

_Gerry didn’t know she was married; she’d never summoned up the courage to tell him. Or maybe she just didn’t want to; she still didn’t know the answer to that. Either way, her marriage was priority at that time, and she was gonna do what she had to in order to save it._

_Once she had come to terms with the fact that she was indeed pregnant, she confessed everything to Robbie. Ironically, it was a rare stretch of time that he was uncharacteristically home, and of course he’d required every single, little detail from her that he could glean. She’d told him everything she could, even though a lot of it she couldn’t remember._

_She didn’t tell him that Gerry was really Gerard Butler, famous movie star; that just didn’t seem like a smart thing to do, so she maintained that secret._

_They’d fought for days, and nights. Round and round they went, until CJ had become so stressed out that she ended up in the hospital. It was there that Robbie convinced her by text message to have an abortion._

_By fucking text message._

_Her husband had told her that he would in no shape, fashion, or form be a father to someone else’s child, and if they were ever going to work it out, CJ would need to “get rid of it”._

_Numbly, CJ remembered making the phone call to the clinic after being released from the hospital. It was less than a week later when she carried through with it.  She would never forget the purple and yellow flowers, the intricate details of wallpaper;  it was the one thing she focused on while the procedure was being completed.  She didn't look at the nurse, wouldn't look at the doctor, and was basically mute unless specifically spoken to._

_All in all she spent a little more than a week between the hospital and the clinic, and she was completely alone. She’d very nearly suffered a nervous breakdown, although she'd hidden it well. She was too ashamed to call her parents or friends. Robbie had moved out the day after she’d gone into the hospital.  He never came to visit, and looking back, she'd calculated that he must have been moving during that time._

_And Gerry? Well Gerry was a different story altogether._

_He’d been constantly texting and calling her, so much so that she changed her phone number to avoid him. After the first few apologetic messages from him, she couldn’t take anymore and had called and requested a new number from her provider._

_The guilt was eating her alive due to the secret she’d kept from him._

_During her time in the hospital, CJ had grown progressively numb to her situation. The counselor that had come by couldn’t reach her, and she refused to allow any friends or family to help her. The nurses at the clinic were as nice as could be, but they were doing a job. Nothing more._

_The only thing that mattered to her was little Leo, and she was terrified that Robbie had done something to her puppy while she was in the hospital. That dog was the last line she had to her sanity, and she was clinging to it desperately._

_Imagine her surprise when she arrived back to her and Robbie’s apartment and found Leo okay. He had managed to spill his bag of dog food across the kitchen floor, so he was well fed, and it looked like Robbie had left a plastic tub of water on the floor next to the cabinet. Her eyes had welled with tears when she realized that even in his hatred of her, Robbie had done that small thing for her dog. A tiny little part of her wondered if maybe he still cared for her?_

_Nope.  That question was answered, and that dream was absolutely squashed when she received the divorce papers from him less than a week later. He’d obviously been planning this for some time, as the papers were already drawn up from a prior date. In her misery, CJ didn’t even read them - had just signed them - and sent them back._

_She remembered not being able to breathe that day that she got the document, and she had fallen down on the floor in the living room as she struggled for air._

_Robbie had taken everything he’d brought in the marriage, and left CJ with nothing. Not that she deserved anything, but it was going to be impossible to live in this apartment on her meager supermarket paycheck. The cost of living in California was outrageous._

_Not knowing what else to do, she’d finally broken down and called her family for help. She gave them the shortened version, and by the end of that month, she’d been moved back to her little hometown of Ville Platte, Louisiana._

_Just like that, the rug had been ripped out from underneath her, but she knew she had no one but herself to blame. After asking for the first few weeks, her family gave up on questioning her and just accepted her for who she was, and for the situation she was in. CJ moped through the first few months, but she knew she had to make changes. She had to do something with herself, because the guilt and quiet desperation was going to destroy her otherwise. The secret that she carried was beginning to consume her, and she knew she had to do something to occupy her time or else she would go insane. She was already on the edge, and it wouldn’t take much more to push her over._

_CJ worked for a few months in her uncle’s grocery store, before finally deciding to go back to college._

_After the divorce was finalized, she never heard from Robbie again. She had tried to find out from his family and friends how he was, and where he was, but they’d all shut her out just like he had. That relationship was well and truly over._

_She never spoke to Gerry again. If she had her way, she’d never speak to him for the rest of her life, so deep was her hurt. The hurt combined with the guilt she felt for not telling him about the baby would eat her alive if she let it.  She had inadvertently heard through the grapevine - or maybe she saw a magazine - that indicated Gerry had gone into rehab from some drug issues.  She didn't look into it, but she knew that he didn't need her problems added to his._

_So she put it out of her mind, and moved on._

_With each semester of college, and with each day that passed, she grew stronger. She put distance between the memories she had of Gerry and Robbie and California, and all the hell she’d been through. One day it would all just be a bad experience, one that she could look back on and see what she’d learned. One day it would all make sense…she just had to keep plodding along until it did. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other, until it was all just a bad dream._

* * *

CJ excused herself from her seat in the theater, and quietly but quickly made her way down to the restroom.  She locked herself in the stall at the far end, and cried as she'd done so many times before.   When she was done, she stepped out and washed her face with cool water, all the while keeping her eyes averted to the corner of her face. 

For so many years, she'd not been able to look at herself in the mirror;  today was no different.  

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Present** **day...**

 

She got the email two days prior to his arrival.

She hadn’t slept since then, and she was completely wired today. Today was the day, and was anything but prepared.

He was coming here - today! - and she was going to have to babysit him. That’s what it boiled down to, all things considered. Babysitting a grown ass man!

“Son of a bitch!” CJ mumbled as she began cleaning up her office. It was barely after 6am, and she knew she’d had too much coffee this morning. She had been awake all night long, her mind running as she tossed and turned restlessly. A little after 4 am she gave up, dragged herself out of bed, and decided to just go in to work.  She filled her Yeti with coffee at the local _**7/11**_. That caffeine, combined with her nerves getting the better of her, had her completely on edge and irritated beyond belief. She needed something to do with her hands; better to clean her damn desk off than choke the shit out of her boss for putting her in such a position.

She’d been working in the public affairs office at the Michoud Assembly Facility in New Orleans for a little over 6 months now. Prior to that, she had been an intern during the last half of her education at LSU, and all in all had been working within the NASA system for almost a year and a half. It was not what she planned for when she started college after her divorce, but it had turned out to be one of the greatest opportunities ever, and she loved going to work. She had just been promoted 3 months ago, and was essentially in charge of her department, save her boss that she reported to.

Ordinarily she came in early - _not 6am early, but early_! - and left late. She was one of the lucky ones who could say they genuinely loved being around their co-workers, and she really enjoyed her job.

_Just not today._

Today she hated everyone, to include the old janitor, Dale, who had remarked how excited she must be about today’s going-ons.

_Excited?!_

CJ had wanted to scream at him, but instead she'd smiled as big as her cold, dark heart would allow, and jammed her finger into the button to bring the elevator down.  Sweet Dale certainly didn’t deserve her ire, and she knew that.

_Didn’t make it any eas_ ier _, tho…_

The work atmosphere was another matter altogether; it was ridiculous the way everyone was behaving.  Ever since she got that damn email, she’d had to bite her tongue and not throw up. All of her colleagues were in a fit, getting their hair and nails done, picking out outfits, and rearranging schedules.  All for one day, with one damn actor who wanted to play some kind of space cowboy.

Apparently, Mr. Gerard Butler would be visiting the facility in order to do some research for his newest film, and CJ would be in charge of his tours, as well as coordinating with the other staff for his hotel and travel arrangements. The timeline given for his stay was anywhere from 3-7 days, so she had no idea how long he would be here, and how long she would be responsible for him.

The gist of the email was that basically whatever Mr. Butler wanted, Mr. Butler would get.

Scowling, CJ straightened all her books, and pushed her recyling bin up under the small side table in her office. On top of the table, the photo of her holding Leo, caught her eye, and she hastily reached over and grabbed it.  She put it in her drawer, far in the back and out of sight.

The last thing she needed was _him_ seeing that photo.

_Bastard._

She glanced over at her clock, and realized it was already close to 7:30.  Her coworkers would be arriving soon, and _he_ was supposed to be here before 10:00.  Scowling yet again, CJ angrily jerked her purse from the back of the door and headed out of her office.   She made her way down to the cafeteria; she needed to get something to eat. 

She was going to need all the strength she could muster to get through this damn mess.  


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course I don't know Gerard, and obviously I don't follow his life that much, cause all these dates are jacked up. Whatever :-) Just writing for enjoyment and to keep myself from going insane.

Less than an hour later, CJ found herself in the bathroom, clutching the rim of the toilet and heaving her guts out. That waffle that she’d managed to eat half of? Completely gone, along with the orange juice, and forkful of eggs.  All gone.

When she had nothing left, she stood up, wiped her mouth off, and flushed the toilet. She shakily made her way out of the stall and stood before the sink and looked up at the mirror.  

She grimaced at what she saw reflected back.

Her face was worse than she expected; her eyes were bloodshot, with bags underneath, and her cheeks were splotchy from the exertion of throwing up.  A few tendrils of hair had gotten loose and were stuck to her forehead where she was still sweating.  She was usually well put together, but today she just looked bad. _Really,_ _really_ _bad._ Part of her wanted to be anxious about looking bad in front of _him_ , but the other part wanted to look as bad as humanly possible; she didn’t want any of his attention, and she was going to do everything in her power to pawn him off on someone else just as soon as the opportunity presented itself.  

She hastily grabbed a few paper towels, wet them with cool water, and pressed them against her heated cheeks. She could feel her heart pounding furiously in her chest as her anxiety mounted, and she took a few deep breaths to try to slow it.

It was no use, as her heart continued to race despite her best efforts to calm down.  She hated to admit it, but she was just too damn stressed out!

She had less than an hour before she had to meet with him and his manager. Less than an hour to compose herself. _Less than an hour to think about how to handle him professionally and not punch him in his face._

Deep down she knew he didn’t deserve her hate, but it didn’t stop the fact that she hated the man with every fiber of her being, even though she didn’t fully understand her reasoning.

She was quite embarrassed to admit that in a moment of weakness, she’d googled him and read all about his issues. She’d been hurt when she read about his problems with painkillers, and she wondered why he’d never mentioned it to her, since it seemed he had been dealing with that at the time they were friends. That had hurt her, but she could explain that away.  Addiction was a serious thing, and she could forgive that. 

_It was the other stuff she couldn't so easily erase from her mind._

The more she snooped around, the more she found, and the more disgusted she got.  His reputation with women had nearly destroyed her, and that had to be why she hated him as much as she did.   _It_ _had_ _to_ _be._  

She couldn’t help but wonder who else he was fucking when he was fucking her? Even though it was only one time, it had resulted in an unplanned pregnancy and the loss of her marriage, both of which nearly killed her. Then to hear that the man you thought was your friend, that you thought you could rely on, was actually out fucking anything with two legs.  What if he had given her an STD? God!!

It made her feel dirty. It made her feel even worse about herself than she already did, if that was possible.  

There had always been a ton of self-blame and hatred, and she wondered if she would ever forgive herself for aborting her child.  She couldn’t tell Gerry. What would a man like him do if he found out he was going to be stuck with a kid he didn’t want? CJ knew she probably would have ended up in the tabloids, and then everyone would know what a whore she really was, and in the end, Gerry wouldn’t want her either. Not after being dragged through the mud like that. Besides, he was hardly the stand-up family guy. He changed his girlfriends like he changed his underwear, and each time she saw a new one, she hated him a little bit more.

Why she placed all the blame on him, she couldn’t fathom, because she knew she was just as much at fault for what had happened that night.   She had been looking for an out with Robbie; she just hadn’t realized it at the time, but she wanted out of her marriage. 

But...cheating on her husband and getting knocked up were not the out she was looking for, and she would have made very different decisions if she could do things over again.

CJ straightened up, lifted her shoulder, and took another deep breath.  Her listless brown eyes stared back at her, stared right through her.  

She couldn't change the past, no matter how much she wished it so.  

She couldn’t do things over, and she couldn’t fix things with Robbie, and she damn sure wasn’t touching Gerry with a ten foot pole. All she had to do was get through the next few days and it would be over. She’d never have to see or interact with him, ever again.  He'd never have to know about the baby, or what she had done.  He'd never have to know. 

Having calmed down as much as possible, she tossed her tissues in the trash can and headed out of the bathroom. Her chin was held high as she made her way back to her office, her social mask firmly in place.  

Just a few more days and it would all be over with.


	9. Chapter 9

Standing before her office door, Casey watched as he approached.  Her heart thudded in her chest like a drum, and she felt like a panic attack might be coming on.  Her lungs were tight, and she tugged at the collar of her buttoned shirt in an effort to take in more air.  

He was flanked by various people - some she knew, some she didn’t. Even from this far away, she could see the easy way in which he engaged with others, the way he was able to drag a smile from even the most professional. He always did make her smile.  Women wanted to be with him, and men wanted to be him;  some things never changed, it seemed.  

He was bulkier than she remembered, and his thick chest and muscled arms filled out his black button-up shirt perfectly. He had on his usual jeans, complete with some kind of boots. His dark hair was a bit unruly, probably due to all the traveling he'd done over the past few days.  It was a little longer than she remembered, and she could see the curls as they tried to appear at his neck.  He had that similar scruff on his face, the one that she’d playfully tugged on so many times when she'd teased him.

She pursed her lips at the memory. _Bastard._

Her eyes narrowed as he moved closer, and she inwardly cursed both herself and him for the way her knees were shaking. _God_ _she_ _needed_ _to_ _get_ _a_ _grip_!

She recognized the moment he realized who she was, and her frown grew as his smile got bigger.  Her heart started beating even quicker, and she prayed to God that she wouldn't pass out.  

“CJ?” Gerry asked as he walked up to her. He looked her up and down, his blue-green eyes vivid as they met hers again. “Is it really you?”

“Yes, Mr. Butler,” CJ replied. She was trying to sound - and be - as professional as possible. All her coworkers were watching with rapt attention. She stiffly held her hand out to shake his, but more to stop him;  Gerry was moving forward, arms open as if he wanted to hug her, and CJ was most certainly _not_ going to do that. 

“Casey Toups, Pubic Affairs. I’ll be in charge of your accommodations, as well as coordinating all the tours, and anything else you should require during your time with us.” She couldn’t produce a more fake smile if she tried.  She should win a damn Oscar for the effort!

Gerry looked down at her hand, and then back up at her face. His smile faltered, and his brows drew together in confusion.

“Casey?” He shook his head and looked around the room before looking back at her. “Am I missing something? Since when did you become Casey Toups?”

“Since I was born, actually.” She flippantly replied as she dropped her hand. Without waiting for a reply, she flipped open her iPad case and began tapping on it. “Shall we get on with it, Mr. Butler?”

She looked up at him, and for just a moment her bravado faltered. There was disbelief in his beautiful eyes, and confusion…but she would swear she saw a little hurt there.  She had to look away; he would see right through her facade if she didn’t.

“Sure, _Ms._ _Toups_ ,” Gerry bit out sarcastically.  CJ didn’t have to look at him to know how aggravated he was; she could hear it in his voice.  

 _Join_ _the_ _club!_ she thought to herself. 

“Well, Mr. Butler, if you want to follow me, I can show you to a room we have set up for you.” Dave, CJ’s boss had decided to intervene. “That way Ms. Toups can gather her things.”

CJ looked over at her boss, and she didn’t miss the warning in his eyes. She knew she was walking a fine line, and could run the risk of getting fired if she didn’t get a grip on herself.

“Does that sound good, Ms. Toups?” Dave pointedly asked.

“Uhm..yes,” CJ nodded vigorously. Her cheeks were blooming with embarrassment, and all she wanted to do was escape to her office and crawl under her desk. Everyone had just seen her little tantrum.  “I’ll just go gather my…things…in my office, okay?”

“Do that.” Dave tightly ordered. “I’ll call you if I need you.”

Dave turned to face Gerry. “Ready, Mr. Butler?”

“Yep,” Gerry muttered. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and he and his manager started walking in the direction that Dave had indicated they go.

  

Feeling properly dismissed on all fronts, CJ stood there, staring at the ground as her boss approached.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Dave furiously whispered.

“I don’t know,” CJ choked out. She knew what was wrong, but how could she tell him?

“Well, you better get your shit together before you completely embarrass this department, and the rest of NASA!” Dave barked, causing CJ to flinch.  She hadn’t felt this pathetic in a long time…

Dave and the remaining NASA employees headed off in the direction Gerry went, leaving CJ to stand in the hallway alone.  She felt the tears prick at her eyes, and she hurriedly ran back to her office.  It was just in time for the hot tears of frustration to roll down her cheeks, and she sank down against the door in a pathetic puddle of frustration. 

God damn him!


	10. Chapter 10

Gerry sat in the chair, his eyes trained on CJ as she snored softly on the desk in front of him. He’d managed to escape his manager and the NASA staff by making up some lame excuse that he needed to make some phone calls.  From there, it was just a matter of figuring out how to get back to that door that had the **_Casey_ _Toups,_** _**PAO** ,_ sign on it.  It had only taken a few wrong turns and some directions from some employees, but here he was. He didn’t even knock - just barged in - and that’s where he found her,  passed out on her desk. Her head was nestled in her forearms, her mixture of curls and waves spilling out over her cheek as they'd escaped from her messy bun.  The room was dark, save for a small corner lamp that she’d left on.

Although he couldn’t see much in the dim room, he remembered his initial impression when he’d first saw her a few hours ago. She’d lost quite a bit of weight since the last time he’d seen her, and this concerned him. It wasn’t so much the weight, actually, but just the way she looked in general. She looked ill. She looked like someone who didn’t sleep, and who didn’t take care of themselves, and she just looked sick. That beautiful tan that he remembered was gone, replaced with pale skin, and almost sunken cheekbones. He remembered how she used to greet him at the dog park, how her golden-brown eyes would light up once she caught sight of him. Today, when they’d made eye contact, he saw nothing of the girl he knew before.  CJ was gone, and in her place was Casey.

_Who the hell was Casey Toups?_

_Was she married now?_

His lips screwed up as memories flooded back. Besides all that last name shit, there was one thing he was going to get an answer to: _why the hell had she run out on him like she had?_   He never heard from her after _that_ night, and for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what he’d done wrong. He knew they shouldn’t have had sex, but in his defense, they were both completely wasted that night and neither one was making good choices.  He was just as shocked as she was when he woke up that morning, naked in bed, and wrapped around someone he had started considering his best friend.

He remembered waking up before she did, and being scared shitless over what had happened.  His mind was racing, trying to remember what had happened, how it had happened, and what this was gonna do to their relationship.  However, once he looked down and saw that mess of tangled hair tucked into his side, he had begun to relax, even if just a tiny bit.  Ending up in bed with CJ was hardly a horrible thing; to be honest, he was more worried about them ruining their friendship over something like that. CJ was one woman he didn’t want to let go, and that was pretty damn weird for him. He usually didn’t get attached like that, and even when he was dating someone, he never wanted to wake up next to them.

Feeling a little more at ease, he had gotten up to use the restroom, but quickly made his way back to the bed and snuggled back in with CJ. He had pulled her onto his chest, and his heart had melted when she nuzzled his chest contentedly. She was so sweet, and so warm, and she just felt right when she was tucked against him like that. A few moments later, he had fallen back asleep, his arms firmly holding CJ to his chest.

 _Imagine his surprise when he woke up later to find her gone_.

Not only was she gone, but she had taken little Leo, and all her stuff. She didn't answer her phone - no texts or calls - and she wasn’t at the park like she usually was on their usual days.

She’d essentially dropped off the face of the planet, and he had been worried shitless for the longest...

Until he stood outside Trader Joe’s, hidden behind some bushes like a damn weirdo, and watched her leave work one evening. She walked out to her car, a smile on her face and her phone pressed to her ear.  She acted like she didn't have a damn care in the world. The fuck? 

That was when he got pissed.

Part of him wanted to confront her, to question her and find out why she’d run out on him like that. The other part - _yes, the hurt_ _part_ \- wanted to know why.  Needed to know why. 

He wanted to know how they could go from being what he considered best friends, to complete and utter shit. That was the thing that hurt him more than anything; CJ had become someone he could tell all his dirty secrets too, and while she shook her head and laughed at his antics, she had never, ever judged him.  She had never told him he was arrogant, or an asshole, or a jerk.  She rarely asked about his movie career, and only really spoke of it when he brought it up. With her, he was just Gerry.  He was Gerry with the pug, and that was it.  He could be himself with her, and he hadn’t had that in so long that he sometimes forgot what it was like to just be a normal dude.

He left that night from Trader Joe’s feeling more pissed off than ever. That evening he went out and drank so much he nearly blacked out;  he hadn’t had a drink in so damn long, that just a few shots and beers had done him in.  He’d ended up with some chick from the bar, and when he woke up the next morning - _next_ _to_ _her_ \- he realized how low he’d sunk.  He was disgusted with himself.  When he was with CJ, he didn’t have to worry about her grabbing his ass, or demanding he sign millions of pics, or smile for the camera.  It was like she was his North Star, his compass, and when he wasn’t with her, he struggled to maintain his heading and ended up doing stupid shit.  Stupid shit like breaking his sobriety, and drinking, and fucking some girl that he barely knew. 

He went back and forth for a few weeks, debating whether or not to take his ass back to Trader Joe’s and demand answers from her. He thought he deserved at least that much.

The only thing that stopped him from approaching her - from demanding those answers - was that he was heading to rehab to deal with his painkiller issue. The injury in his back had gotten worse, and he knew himself well enough to realize he was sliding down into dangerous territory with those damn pills. That night that he'd had those drinks and gotten so wasted had opened his eyes.  He’d struggled a long time ago with alcohol, and drugs were not something he wanted to get hooked on. So he’d made the decision and checked himself into rehab to deal with his shit.  Regardless of what was going on with CJ, he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with it. How would he tell her that not two days after he slept with her, that he’d ended up in bed with someone who’s name he couldn’t even remember? Of all the people in the world, CJ was the last person he wanted to look at him with disgust. He couldn’t deal with her being disappointed in him, he just couldn’t.

 _Besides_ , the petulant part of his brain reminded him, _she didn't seem to care anyways_...

"Well, fuck that shit," Gerry muttered under his breath.  He was through playing games.  

He reached over to her desk, grabbed a binder, and dropped it on the floor. The thud was loud, echoing in the room, and it had the desired effect. As he reached down to pick the binder back up and set it on her desk, CJ lifted her head and groggily looked around. She blinked a few times, but  when her eyes landed on Gerry, they popped wide open. He was seated not 5 feet away, his chair flipped around backwards and his chin propped up on his forearms;  he was staring straight at her.  Her mouth dropped open, and her eyes got huge as saucers when he finally spoke.  

“Hey, babe. Nice to see you again.” 

 

 

     

 


End file.
